Always Be Prepared

This story has been rattling around in my brain since my trip to the doctor this week. I debated whether to put in on paper, then possibly publishing it here at Globasylum. I could hear my daughters sceaming, “M-A-A-H-M-M ! ! N-O-O-O ! ! N-O-O-O-O ! !
Remember in my profile I said that sometimes I embarrass my children, well, this will be one of those times.
I considered writing it in Third Person about my friend.
"I have this friend who I took to the doctor the other day. She. . . "
But you people are too smart to fall for that one.
Then, I read Ree’s post about her peeing in her bed, the neighbor's bed, on their couches. . . and this post pales in comparison.
So, girls, you may want to stop reading here. Be thankful, at least I didn't post a picture with this story. It could be worse.

Going to the doctor is not on my top ten list of favorite things to do. Giving a urine sample is not on any of my lists. Calling the triage nurse and discussing my symptoms ranks up there in between the two aforementioned items.
"I know what is wrong. It happened about 4 years ago. It is on my chart. Can’t you just call in a prescription?"
O-h-h-h-h ! No-o-o-o-o!
My appointment is scheduled for F.I.V.E.H.O.U.R.S later.
I’m not in a lot of pain, but now I’m worried.
Worried that I won’t be able to produce that needed bit of liquid that’s always required. I never can. Not even if I avoided the bathroom for days, if I have to produce, I can’t.
Running water. Running water over my hand. Running water over my head. Running water over my body. Nothing for the little plastic cup.
Dipping my body into a vat of warm water. That might work.
So, since I have F.I.V.E.H.O.U.R.S. to wait I decide to be prepared. "Always be Prepared."I was never a Girl Scout or a Boy Scout, but I like that motto. And then there's Napoleon's motto, "If you're not prepared, at least look that way." Was that Napoleon who said that?
OK, back to the dilemma. What to put it in? Empty water bottle. Yes ! They are everywhere because I buy water by the case.
Done. No more worries. I am prepared.
I always keep water in my vehicle. Water bottles everywhere. Some empty. Some full. Some half-full. Some half-empty. (Yes, I’m both)
In the car, I carefully set my precious bottle in the little round hole provided for just such a thing, sitting just next to the bottle of water in the other little round hole.
NOTE TO SELF: Do NOT even think about drinking water on the way to the doctor’s office.
Entering the doctor's office I have my purse, my keys that I’m trying to get into my purse, my insurance information that I’m trying to get out of my purse, and my bottle.
The lady sitting behind the check-in counter smiles and asks for my name, doctor’s name, insurance, and I’m just trying to figure out where to set my bottle. Certainly, not on her counter. So, I carefully place it on the floor between my feet. Did I mention, I don’t buy small bottles of water? It’s one of those big a_ _ - honking ones.
Checked in and seated, I sit as far away from the elevator as possible. I certainly don’t want to have to carry on a conversation with someone with this rather large bottle of not-so-clear liquid in it cradled between my feet.
Magazine in hand but not reading, I’m watching for anyone who might recognize me and just hoping for the nurse to hurry and call my name. Elevator doors open and I recognize the gray-haired gentleman stepping out. I bury my face in the magazine but keep an eye on him. He checks in. This is a very large waiting room with about 65 chairs. I’m sitting inconspicuously in a far corner of this very large room. Then I hear “Kathryn”…that’s not my name, but that’s what he calls me.
It’s just a water bottle. Everyone carries them everywhere. He doesn’t have a clue what’s in my very large bottle.
Before he makes it across the room to where I am, the nurse calls my name. I am sprinting through the doors where I find her standing at the scales. Why do I have to be weighed in? My problem has nothing to do with my weight. OK?
I set my bottle down and much to my chagrin, learn I did gain 3 pounds last weekend.
The nurse notices my bottle and asked if I brought my sample with me.
“Yes ! I proclaim,” proudly.
“Has it been in the refrigerator?”
“What?”
“Has it been in the refrigerator?”
“What refrigerator?”
“This has to be kept cold.”
“You want it chilled?”
“This has to be kept cold in order for us to get the correct results.”
Someone better start filling a vat of warm water.

Globber Auction Today !

"What is ME bid for this fine-lookin' young man?"
Bidding starts at whatever you want to buy him with.

Don't worry that he has on that awful shirt. You can change that if you win him.

Don't worry that he doesn't know it's cold outside and isn't wearing a coat. We will send him to you with a coat. He doesn't know to come in from the rain either. He's trainable.

Don't worry that he loses bets on Okahoma/Alabama football games. (He does pay his bets, by the way.)

Don't worry that he does knows how to fly T-45 Goshawks and F-18 Hornets. That could be a plus for you. . .free fast rides.

If you are the highest bidder, well, the bidder who offers the best deal, you can re-name him with a new call sign.

Does anyone know his current call sign?
If so, give CLUES to what it is.

So, here's the deal:
1) What is your bid for him?
2) What are clues for his current call sign?
3) What call sign will you give him if you win him?

Winners will be announced at another GlobberAward ceremony. Stay tuned to this channel for updates. There will be another GlobberAuction coming up soon, as we do have more of these where he came from. They are in uniform.

Globber Award in the Verbal Linguistic Category Goes To . . .

. . . and the Globber Award for best sentences in the Verbal-Linguistic Category goes to. . .
Well, you have to read first to find out who the lucky person is.

These are only suggested answers to Wednesday's assigment.
There are many more in last Wednesday's comment section.




fiddle (conj. & v.) regarding speculation on the result of an action about to be undertaken I wonder fiddle work when I try to post my pictures today with Globber.

griyuts (n.) coarsely ground corn or wheat
My recipe for garlic cheese griyuts was popular.

hominy (adv. & adj.) an aid to arithmetic
By adding two and two, yew find out hominy yew got.


idnit (v. & adv. & pro.) contraction for id not it
Idnit a pirate flag flyin' up thar?

For more Red Neck words, check them out on our previous assignments.

I apologize for all the words being discombobulated (is that a word?), around the picture, but I've not figured out how to make them appear the way they look when I save my draft. Globber always makes the final decision.

And now, the Globber Award for best sentence in the Verbal-Linguistic category goes to (drum roll)
. . . well, there are three (3) winners. They are:

Pam who incorporated all the vocabulary words into a story:
I used your first word in a recent post and title, 'cause I do like to fiddle fart around some. And I don't eat griyts no matter hominy times you tell me it's made outa corn ! Idnit amazin' how some folks get so dang pickey 'bout food?

SillyHily didn't look at anyone's paper before tunning in her assignment. Besides, she thought this was fun. (Going for a Teacher's Pet Award ?)Her sentences were:
1) Honey, my car is making a funny noise. Why don't you go fiddle with it and see if you can fix it?
2) I would rather not eat griyuts because by the time I fix them up with butter and sugar, they really aren't that healthy anymore.
3) Hominy licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
4) Idnit going to be fun to go to the Memphis/UT game on Saturday?

Brian decided to deviate from the obvious answers with his interpretation:
"Nero played his fiddle, while all the idnits ran around looking for water. The local temple gave a hominy while gruiyts from the burning wood floated in the air."
(Clue: Think while Rome burned, the idiots ran for water. The temple gave "prayers" and "embers" from the burning wood.)

All three of you may go here to receive your Glob(e)Award.

The pirate flag was posted in honor of KayrmnR and her celebration of Talk Like a Pirate Day.

What does this Suthern' expression mean?
"Even a blind hog will find an acorn (akurn) once in a while."

Do you have any Suthern' expressions to share?

Question: Has anyone seen the post that on October 1 bloggers' early school year pics are to be posted? I am unable to locate the post where I read that. HELP!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Wetsy !

The GlobberAward* announcement for yesterday's assignment will be postponed until tomorrow along with some other sentences for the vocabulary words. *(not to be confused with Globe Award-but for fun, if you win, just go to this site and choose your favorite award and give yourself a pat on the back.)

Today I want to wish Wetsy a Happy Birthday: (music here)

The two round yellow circles singing and dancing during the second verse are law and myself.

In case you don't recognize any of the locations of the pictures below, here are some clues in no particular order. That's because I couldn't get them in a particular order.

It seems like only yesterday we were fourth-graders at Limestone. I vaguely remember your story about Antlers. Here, you and your friend were Twinkies. Hello to the other three friends in the same picture. Then, there was a birthday party at Hillcrest. What does your friend have on her head for Nutcracker? You girls grew up before our very eyes and were roommates. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Mrs. Dubyah :)

To other readers, please excuse a personal post today, but it was just too important not to celebrate with a friend. You are welcome to send your best Happy Birthday wish with a greeting, quote, poetry (that does include limericks) . . . to Wetsy, who by the way is related to Ree at Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. May I suggest listening to the Juice Bag audio portion of her glob in case this is your first time at her very eclectic asylum. Ree's was the very first "glob" I ever read in my life. That was last month. And for a very graceful photo of Wetsy, click HERE.

Disclaimer: If today is not your birthday, I know it's sometime soon. So just read this on your special day.

National Rental Car's New Logo

This is not Hansman. (nothans)

This young man gave me permission to take his picture. I do not know his name, and I'm sure he had no idea he would end up on my glob. I didn't either, because at the time, I didn't have a glob. So, if you recognize him, please tell him Swampwitch says thanks for giving her a picture to post. The agent at the counter had already rented him his car by the time she read the back of his shirt. By the look on her face, I think she wished he had gone to the Hertz Rental Car counter.

The previous post had a sunrise picture on it. I asked if anyone could give clues as to where it was. In order to know exactly where it was, you would have to have been there when the picture was taken. It could be any lake, anywhere. I just liked the way the sun reflected in the water and how the clouds appeared. It is Lake Washington in Seattle. Thanks for your guesses. As usual, today's picture has nothing to do with today's text.

Today's post is another Verbal-Linguistic assignment. Please don't let the word "assignment" scare you away. Everyone ends up with an A+ in this class.

Directions:
Define and/or use the following "words" in a sentence. Parts of speech may be included. For examples, see a previous post.

1) fiddle:

2) griyuts:

3) hominy:

4) idnit

Example:

mewuhls: n. (the animals that were NOT posted at Julie's place yesterday)
You people, those are Percheron horses. They are not mewuhls.

Answer to What Happened to This Man's Pickup Truck

What Happened to This Man’s Chevrolet Pickup Truck?

Scroll down the page to see the pictures of This Man's Truck.

Short story . . .
made . . .
long . . .

He purchases a Garmin Street Finder.
It is his third GPS gadget.
He lost the other two.
I wonder if there is a gadget that would help him locate the other two? I hope not.

This is the first one he has learned to use.


There are several options on this piece of equipment:
Language: English, Spanish, German, etc.
Accent: Standard English, British, Italian, etc.
Type of directions: Map display, Written directions, etc.
Voice: Male, Female, etc. :)

There is a warning, and I quote, “Do not attempt to enter route information or adjust this device while driving. Failure to pay full attention to the operations of your vehicle could result in death, serious injury, or property damage. (Possibly a Chevrolet Pickup Truck?) You assume full responsibility.

After several weeks of practicing with his new toy, (did I mention it’s his third one?), we take a business trip to Scottsdale.

Garmin has been programmed for English-speaking female. They (whoever they are) say men will respond better to a female voice when given directions. That’s why in a fighter-jet the cockpit commands are given by a female, named Bitchin’ Betty.
Would someone please tell my husband he is supposed to respond to my female voice?

“Why don’t you program the address in b.e.f.o.r.e. you start driving?”
“I can do this. You always say I need to multi-task.”
“Not while you’re driving. Let me program the information in.”
Lost Satellite Reception
“You don’t know where we’re going.”
Recalculating
“Obviously, she doesn’t either.”
“Well, she will when I get A-R-I-Z-O-N-A programmed in.”
Continue 1 mile, then turn left and you will reach your destination.
“Wow, I didn’t know Arizona was so close. Did they move it?”
“No, she’s telling me how to get to my office.”
“How many years have you been driving to the same office . . . 20?”
Continue 300 feet, then turn left.
“I can’t remember the name of the company I’m supposed to meet with.”
She’s giving you directions to your office. Just stop there and call for directions.”
“You have to be kidding. Ask for directions??? I have HER to help me.”
Lost Satellite Reception
“Either slow down or stop driving on the shoulder.” “Stop!” The light is red.”
He continues to program in the information. S-C-O-T-T-S-D-A
“The pole isn’t going to turn green.”
Honking from behind us gets louder.
Recalculating
“Finally, I have Arizona and Scottsdale programmed in.”
“Great, by the time you figure out what the company’s name is and get it programmed in, we’ll be in New Mexico.”
“I have their business card with the exact address on it.”
“Where IS the card?”
“In the trunk. When we get to Scottsdale, I’ll stop and get it out.”
Hours later . . . stopped on side of road . . . looking for card AND his wallet.
“Would you please program that address in BEFORE you start driving in this traffic?”
“Why?”
“Give me that thing.”
Travel 15 miles south, then exit right.
Thirty minutes later (traffic is heavy) . . .
In 2 miles, turn right, then turn left.
“I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about.” “What did you program in?”
“The address on the card that you gave me.”
In 1 mile, turn right, then turn left.
“Where’s the volume on her? Can you turn her down?”
In 300 feet, turn right, then turn left.
“She doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about.”
Turn right, then turn left.
Recalculating.
“I’m going to stop and get the map out.”
“What map?”
“The map the company faxed me with the directions.”
"You have a map of where we are going?"
Turn right, then turn right.
“Where IS the map?”
“In the trunk.”
Recalculating.
“OK, I’m going to take the next exit, then stop, and get the map out of the trunk.”
Breathe – Count – Breathe – Count
Lost satellite reception.
“This is a one-way going back the way we just came.”
Breathe – Count – Breath – Count- My left eyelid is twitching.
“There’s no place to stop.”
I think I’m hyperventilating.
“OK, this looks like a good place to stop. I’ll just hop out and get the map out of the trunk.”
You have reached your destination.
"What did she say?”
“She said you’re an idiot. To pay attention to her female voice next time because she does know where she's going."
“What is the name of the company on that business card?”
“The same name that’s on the marquee that we’re parked under.”
You idiot.

Question: What happened to this man’s Chevrolet pickup?

Answer: On his next trip (that he took by himself) he was programming HER, and hit one of those green, metal, reflector poles doing about 60 mph. No one was hurt, and he is now searching for his third GPS gadget.

Photo Above: Please give clues as to what you think is pictured here. Please don't give the location away.

Colorado Color Sunday

Colorado Color Sunday. . . A picture is worth a thousand words. ENJOY !



Where's Waldohans? Somewhere in the aspens.

What Cancer Cannot Do

What Cancer Cannot Do
Cancer is so limited . . .
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit.
Author Unknown

What Happened to This Man's Chevrolet Pickup Truck?

In 1,000 words or less, please explain what you think happened to this man's Chevrolet pickup truck.

Happy Birthday and Verbal - Linguistic cont'd

We interrupt this Verbal-Linguisitic Post to wish someone a Happy Birthday !

Captions for this picture:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!

A-H-H-H to be sixteen again . . .

What Is This Man Doing?

Forty Years Ago

Where in the World Is Waldohans?

Look Mom, it followed me home.
Can we keep it?

More???


Now, back to the assignment:

There are no wrong answers in this classroom. Everyone who participated, receives an A+. The following are more definitions and sentences to add to yours.

Ammo: (song)
Ammo 'ole cowhand, from the Rio Grande.

Bidness: (enterprise)
There's no bidness lak show bidness . . .

Bidness: (concern)
It's none 'o yore bidness.

Cainchew: (question)
Cainchew tawuk lak a good Suthner?

Dogue: (domesticated animal) other pronunciation: dawg
To keep yore dogue (dawg) happy, thow him a bisgit.
Better yet, thow him a cayut. (Just kidding you cayut lubbers)

Etchicashun: (knowledge developed by formal skoolin')
Etchicashun is a grate thang. After yew gradjuate yew can go out and git a job.

Melzie , I like the way you incorporated all the vocabulary words into one sentence. And yes, we really do tawuk lak this . . . anyway, aye do.

I'm impressed that Minka is always in class considering the long commute she has everyday from Iceland. Your wires may be crossed but at least they haven't shorted out like mine.

It is very important BarnGoddess that you use a Suthern' dictionary on your compooter.

There is never any need for test anxiety in this classroom, Gawilli . Just keep reading.

Please let everyone know that there is no need for test anxiety, Julie . Beer helps with anything, especially if given to the proctor . . .that would be me. You have earned your A+ whether you turn in any more assignments or not. Just look at my new pictures at the top of the page. Not to mention, all my new categories along the right side. This classroom is under construction and Julie has her hard hat on. Oh, and I may change my user name to Turkey Turd. Thank you very much.

My new knowledge for linking is attributed to Pam who has stuck with me along the way with directions as detailed as, ". . . check your CPU (the big thing you put your CD's in) to make sure your speakers are plugged in . Yes, the photo was taken in the Land of Rain and Coffee. Thanks for giving clues and not the exact answer. And, you did find Waldo aka: Waldodavid. Your link to gat makes me gag. But, Knowledge is Power.


And, Willi also located Waldo (Waldodavid). It's very obvious you are a teacher.

You know what they say Tiggerlane . On a test, it's usually your first though that's correct.

And a new vocab word for No . Checking in from Pioneer Woman and her trip to the museum.

It's never too late to turn in an assignment Ree . Even though you do have a good excuse since it's your 10th Wedding Anniversary. Don't drink too much Starbucks Coffee.
Happy Anniversary.

All excuses are accepted for tardiness Pamela , especially when you step in dogue (dawg) doo.

Glad you were in class today C . Thanks for sharing your Scottish phrases.

That would be Waldodavid behind the sculpture, G.

And last of all, Nothans, thanks for visiting the classroom today. Check closely for the
Space Needle in the pic.

If you don't have a clue what we are talking about here, read the comments from yesterday's post. That might help or maybe not !

I apologize to anyone else who posts today that I've not responded to you, but I must go make a birthday cake for The Man in the Picture.

I do hope that all the links work. If yours didn't please let me know. Swampwitch :)

Verbal-Linguistic Assignment - Think Suthern'

This picture really doesn't have anything to do with today's post, but when has this "glob" ever been anything but random ? Why change now?
Without giving the exact location of this photo, please gives clues to where the photo was taken.
And, can you find Waldo in the picture?

Here is today's Verbal-Linguistic assignment. (Word Smart) It is a chance for those of you who need extra credit to improve your grade.

Please define each of the following "words" and use each in a sentence.

1. ammo:

2. bidness:

3. cainchew:

4. dogue:

5. etchicashun:

Quote for the day:
Don't mind criticism.
If it's untrue, disregard it.
If it's unfair, keep from irritation.
It it's ignorant, smile
If it's justified, learn from it.

Verbal-Linguistic Intelligence: (Word Smart) is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings. Linguistic intelligence allows us to understand the order and meaning of words and to apply mental linguistic skills to reflect on our use of language. Linguistic intelligence is the most widely shared human competence and is evident in poets, novelists, journalists, public speakers, and bloggers.

Linking 103 Continued !

Instead of a cloud with a silver lining, here's one for you with a gold lining. Fuzzy, but I liked the "halo" and also that Mt. Garfield shows up.

Actually, my current post is located below Yucatan Lime Soup recipe.

Just when I think I have learned something new, like linking to a previous story,

I forget how to do something else. I thought I changed the date/time on the

saved draft below so that it would show up at the top, but no-o-o-o-o !

By the time I learn how to do basic blogging techniques, if anyone is

still visiting this glob, I will have made you dyslexic, too.

Then, it will be officially known as The Asylum.

So, today, please scroll down past the Yucatan Lime Soup recipe and read

today's post.

I spent a lot of time trying to get those links in my text,

and I certainly want someone to click on them. Most of them work, but I think

instead of seeing the OU Sooners-West, you'll find a hummingbird. Oh, well.

I hope I have given everyone the proper thanks and that the link I put with your

name actually takes the reader to your glob - blog.

Just for fun you have to click on TNChick , find the post about her computer

problems, click on comments, and find what Swampwitch said. Notice

that when I used the words "my husband," just like magic, a picture

appears. So, if that's "my husband," who's the gal in the picture with

him. Pam spent so much time giving me step-by-step instructions

on how to add a link to my comments, and all I have to do is just

type "my husband" and links just magically appear.

Yucatan Lime Soup with Chicken

No, this isn't a joke. I'm actually sharing another recipe that several have requested.

For those who know me, yes, I do cook on occasion.

I have included some photos that were taken on the Yucatan Peninsula just for effect.

I've never been able to make the soup the way it is prepared here, but then I don't have the sand, surf, salt spray, and that hot, hot sun.

I hope you enjoy it and will let me know if you actually did prepare the soup and what you thought. Experiment with the ingredients to make it to your liking.

Yucatan Lime Soup

1 chicken breast, cut into 1 inch cubes or shredded

1 tsp. ground cumin

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 c. vegetable oil or more (for stronger taste I use sesame oil)

8 corn tortillas, cut into 1/2 inch strips

3/4 c. finely chopped white or yellow onion

1 tsp. minced garlic

1/2 c. seeded, chopped tomatoes

1 Tbsp. minced Serrano chiles (don't touch your nose or eyes after chopping)

4 c. chicken stock

3 Tbsp. fresh lime juice (or more)

1/4 cup cilantro (more for garnish)

1 lime, cut into thin slices (for garnish)

avocado, diced (for garnish)

Season the chicken with the cumin and 1/4 tsp. salt and set aside. (Sometimes I use a rotisserie chicken) Heat 1/2 c. of oil over high heat. Fry tortilla strips until golden brown. Drain. Salt.

Add onion to remaining oil (no more that 2 tsp. of oil) Add a dash of each:

paprika

salt

garlic powder

black pepper

onion powder

cayenne pepper

dried oregano

dried thyme

Saute until soft.

Add chicken, garlic, tomatoes, and chilies.

Saute about 3-4 minutes.

Add stock and lime juice.

Simmer 10 minutes.

Remove from heat and stir in 1/4 c. cilantro.

Place 1 lime slice in each soup bowl and ladle soup on top.

Top with avocado, tortilla stips, and more cilantro.

Yummy soup for a chilly autumn day.

ENJOY !

Learning to Link Stories

Dear Sweet Robin at Pensieve,

You are my new best friend. Thank you for the step-by-step instructions on how to link to a previous story. I won't know if if works for sure until I publish, but that's the only way I'll learn.

To anyone who accidentally or on purpose (I can't imagine why on purpose !) ends up here, I'm sure they are shaking their heads in disbelief at what they find posted at this random place. I hesitate to call it an asylum . . . yet.

My daughters who call me a control freak (and I did consider using that as my user name, but Controlling Freaky Swampwitch was a little much), have questioned me about how I decide on what to post. I can't answer that yet. It just comes naturally, I guess.

I have readers, Pam ,who are now trying to help me turn my speakers back on with instructions like:

check the cord connections from your speakers to your CPU-that big thing you put your CD's into. Oh, she knows me. It was forever that I thought my computer was the screen and keyboard. I kid you not.

It is so much fun learning this. And doing it in front of people is no problem for me. I taught for over 25 years, mostly middle school, and I learned in front of them everyday. They taught me so much.

I started with a story about Globbing, How Do I Begin? And, Robin, unfortunately, Willowtree won't help because I think I offended him with my misuse of the word Blog. All that can be located in my Globtionary.


Then I decided to share stories about life with my husband Hanstory #1 and our experiences at restaurants. At that time, I still didn't know how to post a picture. For that matter, I'm still not sure because Globber is such a pain in the "arse" at times. So, I have been instructed to use Picasa. My only question there concerns the ability to SAVE the information. Do you have to publish it immediately, or can you save it for a later date?

At some point along the way, a nice young pilot helped me with posting pictures so I wrote Hanstory #2. Unfortunately, I did not know how to get all the pictures to post with the story itself.
Nevertheless, I was able to prove my story.

Then, I wrote Hanstory #3 about the need for communication in a relationship and was feeling quite smug with myself, only to learn that Globber wasn't cooperating again. I had already written the story so I didn't want to have to go to Picasa and re-write it. (I know, I know, write it in Word, click copy all, and paste it.) Please understand, I have just recently learned how to work with two pages on my screen at the same time. Then, by some stroke of magic, I tried one more time to publish my text with picture of the orange crocks, and Wa-Lah, there is was. It just wasn't posted with the text.

We spent Labor Day with one of our daughters, so I just had to share that experience. Anyone who knows us, understands that this was no exaggeration. Because, I have pictures to prove it.

I wanted to share the fact that our neighbor (coach) and his son (player) had two successful seasons as the OU Sooners-West so here is that picture. We won't mention the OU game against the Oregon Ducks last Saturday. Was something "fowl" or what?

Then, I wanted to announce the Winners of the first What is This Man Doing contest, so here they are.

I'm sure no one is still reading, but I'm having a wonderful time rambling on and on.

I've tried to post a picture with this, but once again, Globber is not cooperating. I notice they will have an outage later. I certainly hope they can "fix" whatever is wrong. I'm sure it's not me and my compooter skills.

Contest

Fall into a free fall blog makeover.

Bluebird Blogs is holding a contest. Win a fall makeover for your blog.
Send an e-mail to bluebirdblogs@gmail.com
with your name and blog address.

Entries will be accepted until 11:59 p.m. on Friday 09-22/06


http://bluebirdblogs.blogspot.com/


Contest

And The Winners Are . . .

And The Winners Are...

Man with Stick After Fetching It Off Garage Roof

June Bug with a different stick while man fetches the other one off the garage roof.

Links are listed below.

#1 Closest to what he is actually doing:

Pamela guessed it first with Pam coming in second.

". . . looking for something that got thrown up there . . . "

The something was June Bug's stick they were playing fetch with.

#2 Best title for all four pictures:

KatieT: " S H _ _ on a Shingle"

One of many duties of a pteradactyl owner, roof pooper scooping.

#3 Funniest caption:

Pamela's limerick:

There once was a man heard to utter

As he balanced himself o'r the shutter

This job is so dirty

My thoughts sure ain't purty

Can't keep my mind outta the gutter.

. . . AND her captions from TV and movies:

1) Beam me up Scotty. (Star Trek)

2) Able to leap tall building in a single bound. (Superman)

3) I'll be back. (The Teminator)

4) Made it, Ma. Top of the World (Who Killed Roger Rabbit)

Pam - Ramblings and Other Things

KatieT - Now Hear This

Pamela - The Dust Will Wait

Please e-mail me with your Pony Express address so I can mail a surprise to you.

Pam, the bear is dead. One of those three strikes and you're out bears. I'm headed to your archives to see what you have to say about bears.

Honorable mention goes to everyone who participated:

Brian

Michelle

Melzie (and thanks for noticing the dogs were Boxers)

Debs

G

KarmynR

Robin

and Library Goddess (Garlic Grits and Bloody Mary Girl)

P.S. I hope all the links work. This is just my second time to try this.

Robin Tagged Me

Well here goes with This-That-and-The Other:















Robin tagged me and gave me this "assignment."

Jobs I've had:
1) making Christmas bows for C&D Variety Store ($.50 hour)
2) sacking groceries and stocking shelves at College Grocery Store ($1.25 hour)
3) bookkeeper for Thompson Book Store ($1.35 hour)
4) teacher in Oklahoma and Colorado ($$ varied but sometimes could have qualified for
Federal Assistance)

Movies I could watch again and again:
1) E.T. *
2) Holes * (Louis Sachar)
3) The Land Down Under*
4) Rabbit Proof Fence
* there is a discrepancy between my chronological age and developmental age

Places I have lived:
1) Antlers, Oklahoma
2) Hugo, Oklahoma
3) Durant, Oklahoma (pronounced DOO-rant if you're a local)
4) Bartlesville, Oklahoma

Quick story about Oklahoma told with a love for that state:
Without the panhandle, Oklahoma looks something like a rectangle.
Divide it into fourths.
Person in one quadrant calls his neighbor, "You alls cow is in my garden."
Person in next quadrant calls his neighbor, "Ya'lls cow is in my garden."
Person in third quadrant calls his neighbor, "You-en-zess (ya'll + 3) cow is in my garden."
Person where I'm from calls his neighbor, "I just shot your cow. . . come on over for B-B-Q)

Things I like to do:
1) spend time with my husband (What is this man doing? Hanstories), my family and friends
2) play tennis, play with Junior and Bubba, my Boxers
3) work outside
4) work with middle school children - learn new things - they teach me a lot

Favorite foods:
1) garlic cheese grits
2) black-eyed peas, turnip greens, cornbread (especially on January 1)
3) soups: Yucatan lime, posole, split-green pea, onion
4) peanut butter and banana sandwiches with cold milk

Places I would like to be right now:
1) anywhere with my husband, children, and grandchildren
2) at home with my husband, family, Junior, and Bubba, with friends
3) flying a jet*
4) singing at Carnegie Hall*
*I can't do either !

Websites I visit often:
1) anything that pertains to: evaporative (swamp) coolers, Indoor Air Quality, asthma, allergies
2) weather - at this time, it is snowing in the Rockies
3) breast cancer support groups
4) blogs (globs as I see it in my lysdexic world)

Places I've been:
1) New York City - Twin Towers - Windows on the World Restaurant
2) Washington, D.C.
3) Australia and New Zealand
4) Alaska: Aleutian Islands and Wiseman and points in between

Favorite quotes:
1) Whatever you're willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.
2) "There are times in life when you just don't want to pass up a good opportunity to Shut Up."
---Joe McGraw
3) My greatest fear is that there is no such thing as PMS and this is my real personality.
4) "So, how's that workin' for you?" ---Dr. Phil McGraw 

Wildflowers

I have used the advice of Melzie and am using Picasa to try to post my pictures. This is another test. Don't mind me. I'm just trying to learn.
And while I'm here, this is for KarmynR and her husband:
How do you spell crow? C-R-O-W
How do you pronounce crow? kro (long o)
How do you eat crow? I like mine well done.

MRDUCKS
MRNOTDUCKS
MR2DUCKS
CMWANGS

This from an OU Sooner fan, an OSU Cowboy fan, a Denver Bronco fan, a Dallas Cowboy fan...
and today, an Oregon Duck fan ! 

Preparing for Breast Cancer Awareness

Preparing for Breast Cancer Awareness, originally uploaded by swampwitch.

This is just a test to see if I can learn to use Flickr instead of depending on Blogger to post my pictures. Please be patient.

The Picture That Goes With Hanstory #3

Thank you Blogger for posting the picture, finally. I take back all the bad things I said earlier about you and calling you Globber. (Until you do it again.) This picture goes with Hanstory #3.

Hanstory #3

YOUR IMAGES ARE BEING UPLOADED TO BLOGGER (GLOBBER)
DONE
YEAH, RIGHT !
Use your Visusal/Spatial Intelligence and imagine a picture here.
A picture of a man's feet in orange crocks.
The caption says:
"Where are my shoes and socks
I do not want to wear David's orange crocks."


They (whoever they are) say that communication is an important part of developing, having, keeping, etc. a good relationship.

One aspect in communicating is the process of questioning and answering. I ask a question, he gives an answer. He asks a question, I give an answer. In most cases, the answer should be somewhat relevant to the question, I think. But, who am I to question or answer ?

Background info: Sometimes he will wear a nicely laundered and ironed shirt to the office. If he’s going to work outside the next day, he will wear that same shirt. Fine by me. So, that evening, he’ll hang / drape the shirt on anything but a hanger. He has done this for years. It’s a pattern. I know not to put the shirt in the dirty clothes hamper.

Yesterday I noticed a pair of socks draped over the vacumn cleaner handle. I wasn’t sure if the socks had been worn or not. And even if they had, this is one of the places where he “saves” his shirts to wear again, so I'm thinking maybe he wants to wear the socks again. Fine by me.

Later that day:

I asked, “Do you want me to wash (warsh) these socks or are you going to wear them again?”

He said, “No.”

I asked, “No what ?”

He said, “Just no.”

I asked, “Do you want me to put these in the wash (warsh) now, or do you want to wear them ?”

He said, “Those are my white socks.”

The last time I checked, I wasn’t color blind and am still able to distinguish socks from other articles of clothing.
My ears start to ring and my left eyelid is twitching again. I suppress the desire to raise my voice. Breathe. Count. Breathe. Count. (He's not hard of hearing. He's just not listening.)

(Classroom Control 203 kicks in…questioning techniques. Do not ask a two-part question to students who cannot solve “If this . . . Then what ?" )

I ask, “Do you want me to wash (warsh) these socks ?”

He asks, “Why wouldn’t I ?”

Now he’s answering my question with a question of his own.

I say, “Because they were hanging on the vacumn cleaner handle and when you hang your shirts there, it means you want to wear it them again.”

He says, “But those are my SOCKS.”

Note to self :
Learn to decipher the code. Determine what article of clothing that’s draped over the vacumn cleaner handle is to be worn again or to be washed (warshed) ?

Moral of the story: There isn't one.
Just two questions:
I ask, “Where are your shoes and socks ?”
He answers, “Whose on first ?”

At this point, had Gobber published my picture, the moral and the picture would have tied this all together. So, this post makes about as much sense as the above 'conversation.'

Logical / Mathematical Intelligence

This picture represents one aspect of the Logical/Mathematical Intelligence.

It is the continuing saga of an earlier post. (See August Archives: Hanstory #2)

Today's Lesson Plan:

Logical/Mathematical Intelligence

(Number Smart)

Objective:

--to learn that too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.

The logical/mathematical person:

--recognizes and understand patterns

--follows multi-step instructions

--reasons well and abstractly

--thinks systematically

--classifies and categorizes data

--thinks without images

--organizes "things" in an effective manner

Activity:

THINK TANK TIME* (from my fourth grade curriculum) (directions follow)

1. ABC, BCD, CDE, ____ , _____, ______

2. a+a = 6 a+b= 14 b=____

3. math add subtract multiply

4. up: down :: hot: ________

5. 7 * D in a W _____________

6. If all elephants have trunks, and Dumbo is an elephant, then

__________________________________________.

7. Mary is taller than Jane. Jane is taller than Sue. Rita is taller than Jane

but shorter than Mary. List the names from shortest to tallest:

8. COF FEE

9.

roo_

_oat

so_e

fro_

Directions:

1. sequence / pattern (what comes next)

2. a and b values (3rd grade algebra)

3. what word doesn't belong and why not

4. analogy

5. how does the number relate to the letters (Pun)

6. syllogism

7. list in order

8. wuzzle

9. same missing letter in all four words

Logical - Mathematical "Kid" Quote:

"If it wiggles, it's biology...if it smells, it's chemistry...if it doesn't work, it's physics.

Logical - Mathmatical "Adult" Quote:

"A short cut is the longest distance between two points."

*THINK TANK TIME was a daily activity posted on a bulletin board. Each student had a notebook specifically for TTT. On Friday, all 5 TTT were discussed with all possible answers.

Many students created their own TTT to be posted on the bulletin board.

It was always amazing how creative these students were. We were having fun and learning at the same time.

Crazy Links

These are links to the bloggers who entered the "What Is This Man Doing" contest yesterday. I am practicing "linking." I hope they all work and that I listed everyone.

Brian

Michelle

Melzie

Pamela

Katie T

Debs

G

KarmynR

I Think I Did It !

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.

I think I have posted a link to the person who tagged me today and one more just a a mystery whose "glob" is it who was also tagged.

I am going to post this in front of the whole blogging world just to see if it works.

If not, I'll try again. If it does, I'm going LinkCrazy tomorrow.

ROBIN


Test

What Is This Man Doing ? #2

The pictures are not necessarily in order, but you can figure that out for yourself. At least I was successful in getting all four posted. Thank you Blogger !

The question is . . . What is this man doing?

If you notice, my previous post declares three (3), winners of the question,
"What Is This Man Doing?" It had something to do with a glass of wine and a vacumn cleaner.

There will also be three winners for this contest:

#1) closest to guessing what he ACTUALLY is doing

#2) best title that captures ALL four pictures

#3) funniest description/caption for all four pictures

Contest will be open until Saturday, 09-16-06, 5:00 p.m. MDT

Winners will be which entries This Man laughs the most about.

Previous contest winners were awarded Barnes & Noble gift certificates.

Prizes for this contest have not yet been decided upon but they could range
anywhere from 3 new cars to something in our garage sale. (And no, we aren't selling our garage.)

Decision of the judges is never final. We can be coercized, influenced, or bought.

Get your creative thinking caps on.

In the meantime, I will be posting a new assignment concerning the Logical/Mathematical Intelligence. For all of you who are home-schooling, need lesson plans for next week, or just want to have some fun . . . stay tuned.

And The Winners Are . . .What Is This Man Doing ?

Decison of the judges is NEVER final. It can be negotiated, coercized, influenced or bought.

What Is This Man Doing?

Three prizes will be awarded:

#1 What he is ACTUALLY doing (first to post).

#2 Best title

#3 Best description/caption

This was a difficult decison, but the ones that made this man laugh the most were:

#1)What he's actually doing: KarmynR guessed correctly. He is sucking up fruit flies as they circle his glass of red wine

#2 Best Title: Katie T with her title of Industrial Presidential Model: The Lewinski

#3 Funniest Description/Caption: BBIdaho: This man is adding $3.15 gallon gasoline to raise the value of cheap wine.

If the winners will send your addresses ( I will not publish them) you will be mailed a $15.00 gift certificate from Barnes and Noble, not to be shared, but each of you win.

In response to:

Songbird: yes, this is a bear in our house but he is dead...one of those three strikes and your out situations...we did NOT kill this bear ourselves. Please, no letters from animal rights activists.

Tiggerlane: wine bog/ wine sniffer ...either or is a wonderful idea.

KamrynR: Forgive me for I have Zinned with my vac was an honorable mention for a caption. But you've already won one prize... you creative blogger you.

Julie: maybe next time...next contest is coming up soon

Pamela: yes, he does have a reflection that causes some distortion

Lizze901: with this hose, no stains occur

C: siphon, yes, great idea

Old Dominion: wine bog...we are creating one as you speak

Gayle: KarmynR beat you to the punch... post faster next time

MJ, MSUgal86, Pam, Debs, Melzie Beth, Susan, No !!! The next "What Is This Man Doing?" Contest will be up in a few days. Stay tuned. This man is a plethora of wonderful posts and the prizes just get better with each contest.

The Voice Still Trembles

09-04-01

the end of a memorable week in NYC we are on a plane back to Colorado our daughter on a plane back to Oklahoma little did I know the photo still in my camera of her sitting on the hotel bed with the stately towers providing the backdrop would become a most cherished one the very last one of the two giants providing the outline for that famous skyline gone forever but forever an image in my mind

09-11-01

the beginning of a usual day sunrise wrestling with the dogs coffee then the news standing in the exact place in my kitchen when the news of the Oklahoma City bombing flashed across the screen

a pendulum of emotions and thoughts fear hope disbelief hope confusion hope pain hope panic hope horror hope hope hope

a snapshot in time...Kennedy, Space Shuttle, first imgaes of Desert Storm, Oklahoma City and now such vivid detail all my senses engage first plane maybe an accident second plane who is Osama bin Laden Pentagon attacked on our own soil Flight 93 how many more planes

find the phone fingers shake uncontrollably dialing a Staten Island number all circuits busy fingers dial every Staten Island number in planner finally a trembling voice Hello where are they they being four of our New York City firefighter/policemen friends we don't know we can see the smoke from here not wanting to hang up for fear of losing contact with the voice at the other end of the connection clinging to every word please call back this is a nightmare please wake up each minute is an eternity waiting for the call about our friends hours pass then the call comes the ring of the phone fills the air with sheer panic my hand is frozen then moves in slow motion the news comes all four friends are safe but so many of their brothers, sisters, friends are unaccounted for now they are our friends, too days pass stories range from sheer horror to miracles out nation rallies together why does it take a tragedy five years later, where are we

09-11-06 5:30 a.m.

Staten Island called this morning five years later the voice still trembles

Dedicated to the Heroes of September 11, 2001

The following was given as an invocation at today's Tailhook Awards Luncheon in Reno, Nevada. 09-10-06. 12:00 noon. It expresses the spirit of those who love and serve their country, military and civilian alike.

words of Commander John J. "Bug" Roach United States Navy 1944-1991:

We are a Nation.

We celebrate our birthday on July 4, 1776 with the Declaration of Independence as our birth certificate. The bloodlines of the world run in our veins because we offer freedom and liberty to all who are oppressed. We are many things to many people.

We are a Nation.

We sprawl from the Atlantic to the Pacific, to Alaska and Hawaii. Three million square miles throbbing with industry and with life. We are the forest, field, mountain and desert. We are the wheat fields of Kansas, the granite hills of Vermont and the snow-capped peaks of the Sierra Nevada. We are the Brooklyn Bridge, grain elevators in Nebraska and the Golden Gate.

We are a Nation.

We are 213 million living souls and yet we are the ghosts of millions who have lived and died for us. We are Nathan Hale and Paul Revere. We are Washington, Jefferson, and Patrick Henry. We are Lee, Grant, Abe Lincoln and George Bush. We are the famous and the unknown. We are presidents. We are paupers.

We are a Nation.

We stood at Lexington and fired the shot heard round the world. We remember the Alamo, the Maine, Pearl Harbor, Inchan and the Persian Gulf. When freedom calls, we answer. We left our heroic dead at Belleau Wood, on the rock of Corregidor, on the bleak slopes of Korea, the steaming jungles of Viet Nam and under the rubble of Beirut.

We are a Nation.

We are schools and colleges, churches and synagogues. We are a ballot dropped in a box, the harmonious voice of a choir in a cathedral, the crack of a bat and the roar of a crowd in a stadium. We are craftsmen, teachers, businessmen, and judges. We are laborers and nurses.
We are parents and we are children. We are soldiers, sailors and airmen. We are peaceful villages, small towns, and cities that never sleep.

Yes, we are the Nation and those are the things we are.

We were conceived in freedom, and dear God, if you are willing, in freedom we will spend the rest of our days. May we always be thankful for the blessings you have bestowed upon us. May we be humble to the less forutnate and assist those in need. May we never forget the continuing cost of freedom. May we always remember that if we are to remain the land of the free, we must continue to always be the home of the brave. May our wishbone never be found where our backbone should be. May we possess always the integrity,the courage and the strength to keep ourselves unshackled, to remain always a citadel of freedom and a beacon of hope to the world.

We are the Nation.

And this is our wish. . .this is our hope and this is our prayer. Amen


Dedicated to those heroes who died on September 11, 2001 and their families.

"WE WILL NEVER FORGET."

What Is This Man Doing ? - UPDATE

Since I have intermittent (sp?) wireless service that lasts for only about 30 minutes at a time, I wanted to quickly give an update.

One prize* will be mailed to each of the following:

#1) The first entry to correctly describe what he's doing

#2) The entry with the "title" that made him laugh the most

#3) The entry with the "description/caption" that made him laugh the most

The contest will remain open until Wednesday 09-13-06 - 3:00 p.m. MDT

You may post as many entries as you wish.

Prizes will either be books from my library OR gift certificates from Borders or Barnes & Noble.

GLOB: A Dyslexic's Acronym for Blogging

G- enuine
L- ove
O -f
B- logging

Objective #1: to change the negative connonation for the poor little word (acronym)
GLOB

Objective #2: to compile all the GLOB words that were were either posted, e-mailed
to me, or left on my answering machine (I loved hearing the smile in
your voices.)

Objective #3: to motivate readers to continue to post ACTUAL blog terms/definitions/
instructions/links/etc. to be compiled into a USEFUL Blog Dictionary
that will be published at a later date.

Concerning my use of the acronym GLOB, thanks for your sense of humor and your
ability to think outside the box from all of you. . . well, almost all of you. :)

A later post will be dedicated to those of us with a learning "difference" (I refused
to call them learning "disabilities" when I was teaching) and to share what it
requires to function in the verbal-linguistic world of blogging.

It has come to my attention that when someone hears/sees the word (acronym)
GLOB, it conjures up something negative. Two readers brought that to my
attention, but one joined in and contributed anyway. The other was quite
verbal about my misue of the word (acronym) GLOB.

To all of you, I send:
globs of good health
globs of sunshine + a little rain= rainbow
globs of happiness
globs of hugs
globs of everything that is good and nice

Here are a few of the contributions to the:

GLOBTIONARY

glibber - carefree globber

globber - one who globs

globbersphere - out there somewhere

globbospace - see globbersphere

glopionion - whatever you think

globneophyte - one who is new to globbing

globtitude- outlook on globs

gloptitude - aptitude of globs

You are welcome to add more GLOB terms, but especially to contribute
more real Blog terms that will be compiled in a Blog Dictionary for
those new to the Blog World.

Thanks for sharing and making us smile. Remember, it takes more
muscles to frown than it does to smile. Until next time,
I'll keep in Globbing through this Swamp.

CONTEST: What Is This Man Doing?

Please give one title to these pictures and brief description of what you think
he is doing in all three. I apologize for them being "blurry" but I was
laughing so hard when I took the pictures, it was difficult to hold the camera
steady.

I'm not sure what the prize will be . . . maybe just some words of praise.

If you can help me with how to mail a prize to you, I'll do it.

Be creative and have fun !

It will be after September 14 before I can announce the winner. Please
note that I will not have access to a computer for a week.

Proof: Sunday Morning Cacophony

Harrison and Junior
Harrison, Pacifier, and Bubba
Harrison and June Bug...notice: she didn't eat her bed !
Proof: There were three (3) count them THREE Boxers - all in the same photo.

June Bug and what's left of the foam rubber dog's bed Remnants of the dog's bed

Today I am "posting proof" of yesterday's conversation.