Monday, August 28, 2006

Hanstory #2

Hans is a busy person. When he’s not ordering from a menu (See Hanstory #1), he’s also not reading the newspaper. He doesn’t have time. We receive The Daily Sentinel everyday. I guess that why it’s call The DAILY Sentinel. Consequently, we have a large collection of newspapers dating back to 2003. I –Kid – You – Not !! We have newspapers stacked in a little red wagon, plastic crates, cardboard boxes, some lying scattered on the garage door because when the stack reached 3 feet in height, it fell over. Almost every four days, he reminds me not to throw them away. That’s approximately 1,095 times he’s reminded me since we’ve been married.
(Logical / Mathematical for those MI people out there.
See Muliple Intelligences vs Multiple Personalities)

Every year we have a little party for our neighbors and other friends. It is important to me that my garage and all my closets are clean. I’m not sure why I feel that it’s necessary to clean all the closets because I’m pretty sure none of our guests look in them. But, I do know they see the garage because the refrigerator in the garage is stocked with beer.

Since we are both pack rats, after a year of rat-packing in the garage, it is possible that a car could be hidden in there. About 2 weeks before the party, the suggestion was made to clean the garage. That would be ME suggesting to HIM. I started 2 weeks early because last year 1 week was not enough time to accomplish all the things on my our list. He ended up buying a beautiful, blue, plastic tarp to cover the work bench because he ran out of time. If you are still reading at this point, you’ll know why he ran out of time if you choose to continue.

Surprisingly enough, he bought into the idea. I was elated ! He left for work about 6:00 the next morning promising he would start cleaning as soon as he arrived home from work that afternoon. I started to work on one corner of the garage and by noon had successfully organized, dusted, cleaned, swept, and mopped an area about 3 feet by 3 feet. At this rate, the garage will be clean for the party in 2007.

Here’s the problem: When I find something out of place, I take the something to its proper place. You know that saying, “There’s a place for everything and everything in its place.” . . . or something like that. Well, what happened was, when I took the something to it proper place, the proper place need to be straightened / cleaned / dusted / etc. I would find myself in another part of the house straightening, cleaning, dusting, etc. ing . . . You get the picture?

When he arrived home from work, he utters those oh so familiar words wives love to hear, “So, what have YOU done all day?” It really didn’t look like I had accomplished that much in the garage, but the closets were shaping up nicely.

After dinner (supper as it’s called where I’m from) we both headed to the garage, me with high hopes of him moving the heavier objects and throwing away HIS junk.

Remember what I said about the newspapers?

Here are 4 pictures that document the next 4 evenings. And if it looks as though he has on the same pirate t-shirt in every picture, he doesn’t. The first one says: “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves.” The second one says, “Surrender the Booty.” I’m not sure what the others say. It’s not really that important.

Notice that in one of the pictures, he doesn’t even stop to come inside to eat dinner (supper). What a sweetheart.

At this point in the game, there are still many projects to finish in preparation for the party other than cleaning the garage.

I pulled the little red wagon loaded with 2 stacks of newspapers about 2 feet high each out of the way and covered it with the beautiful, blue, plastic tarp that he used to cover the bench last year.

NOTE TO SELF:

Next year buy about 7 more beautiful, blue, plastic tarps and cover the entire garage.
OR
Move the beer refrigerator outside because that’s why the guests go in the garage anyway.

9 Comments:

Blogger librarygoddess said...

Order or No --- I dont care who you are, THAT is funny!!

8/29/2006 06:44:00 AM  
Blogger Debs said...

LOL Love the story :)

Robo Cop calls it "dinner"...I still call it "supper". :)

8/29/2006 07:21:00 AM  
Blogger Silly Hily said...

That was hilarious!!!!
I totally know what you are talking about when you get to "really" cleaning (not just picking up) and need to move something but then that place needs to be cleaned. It takes me forever when I clean b/c when I finally decide to do it, I get anal about stuff.
I say just move the "beergerator" (as we call it) outside. Or just put all the beer in a cooler somewhere inside or on the patio.

8/29/2006 10:35:00 AM  
Blogger Karmyn R said...

I feel for you. My husband actually does get up and do stuff - but is easily sidetracked. My husband would start on the garage - find the clippers and then go outside to start clipping the hedge, only to see some weeds underneath, so get down and weed. In the corner of his eye, he'd notice that the the kids left their toys in the yard. On his way to pick up the toys, he'd see that the yard needed to be "poop scooped". On his way to get the shovel and bucket, he'd notice that there were ripe tomatoes in the garden.....and on it goes. Nothing EVER gets done around here unless I turn into a nag.

8/29/2006 05:22:00 PM  
Blogger Swampwitch said...

Library Goddess: You sound like Larry the Cable Guy...Are You?

Debs: Dinner...Supper...Vittles (sp?)...whatever...he was DINING in the garage.

Karmyn R: Is what your husband does called Multi-Tasking?

8/29/2006 07:58:00 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

LOL - My Mom cleans the same way. I don't see how you guys ever get anything done. LOL But whatever works for ya. Just don't call me to clean. hee hee

Loved the photos!!! He's a cutie!!!

8/29/2006 08:44:00 PM  
Blogger pixielyn said...

wow, see I'd be slippin some papers every week off the bottom of the stack ever so slick like and throwing them away!!! dang!!! why does he want that many papers??? That was hilarious!! I can so understand about the beautiful blue tarps though!!!

8/30/2006 07:07:00 AM  
Blogger Melzie said...

TOO FUNNy Your blog is hilarious :) I will be back to visit again! xoxo melzie

8/31/2006 09:19:00 AM  
Blogger Melzie said...

PS I call that ADD cleaning you know attention deficit? LOL xoxo

8/31/2006 09:20:00 AM  

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