Monday, September 04, 2006

Sunday Morning Cacophony

Setting: son-in-law and daughter's house
(neat as a pin and clean as a whistle)

Characters: Catherine-our daughter-baby due in November
Harrison - 22 month old grandson
(their Daddy / husband - is serving in Iraq)
Junior and Bubba (our Boxers)
June Bug (Harrison's Boxer - Junior's daughter)
Gammy (Swampwitch)
Pops (Swampwitch's husband)

I'll not specify who said what...that's irrelevant, but you'll have
it figured out if you keep reading. No quotation marks have
been used - it's ALL "conversation."

Where's Harrison?

Eating dog food.

Junior's drinking out of the toilet.

Flush him a fresh 'bowl' of water, please.

Who let the dogs in?

I think it's 'Who let the dogs OUT?'

I'm serious, let those dogs out NOW !

Is there any more coffee?

There's dog slobber on the couch.

Don't worry, it'll dry.

EE - Y-E-W - Y-U-C-K-Y

Where's Harrison?

Drinking someone's coffee and sharing it with Bubba.

Whose coffee is it?

It doesn't matter, take the coffee away from the baby and Bubba.

Too late, they finished it off.

Where's the dog's bed?

Who locked the bathroom door? There's no one in there.

Use a toothpick.

For WHAT???

To unlock the door.

Where's the key?

There isn't one.

Someone better find a toothpick, NOW!

Who farted? EE-Y-E-W -EE Y-U-C-K-Y

One of the dogs.

Yeah, right...one of the dogs.

Someone better find me a toothpick.

Who left the lid off the dog food can?

Doesn't matter. June Bug ate it all.

No, she didn't. Harrison helped her.

Where did all those pieces of foam rubber in the backyard
come from? . . . Hey, I found the dog's bed. . what's left of it.

Is there any more coffee?

No, Harrison and Bubba drank it all.

Where IS Harrison?

In the bathroom.

How'd he get in there?

He used a toothpick.

Is he taking a bath?

No, but his quilt is.

What's for breakfast?

Where's Gammy? (Swampwitch)

On the computer.

Get off the computer and fix breakfast.

Bite me.

Harrison has dog slobber in the hair.

EE-Y-E-W--EE Y-U-C-K-Y

It'll dry.

Who let the dogs in?

I think it's, "Who let the . . .

Don't even go there. Let those dogs out NOW !

So, now we know who let the dogs out.

Where's Harrison?

Sitting in what's left of the dog bed with Junior and Bubba.

Where's June Bug?

Eating foam rubber.

Where's Gammy? (Swampwitch)

Sitting in what's left of the dog bed with Junior, Bubba, and Harrison.

At least she's not eating foam rubber with June Bug.

Where's Dad? (Swampwitch's husband)

On the computer.

Why? He doesn't even know how to turn it on, much less use it.

Get off the computer.

Where's your blog?

My what?

I heard you had a blog.

It's not a blog. . . it's a GLOB.

What's that?

I'm not sure. . . ask WillowTree.

Who's WillowTree?

Some guy in Australia.

Where?

Where's Harrison?

Feeding yogurt to the dogs.

Dad, you've been here less that 18 hours. . .you've tried to
rearrange everything in my garage to my spice cabinet. . .
my house is trashed. . . your toiletries are sitting in the window,
your underwear in under the computer desk . . .

What's your point?. . . And, by the way we aren't leaving until
Monday night.

G-A-S-P

Silence. . . Dead Silence

End of Cacophony. . . for about 1 minute

16 Comments:

Blogger SongBird said...

I am rolling on the floor!! Hilarious!!

9/04/2006 07:52:00 PM  
Blogger Swampwitch said...

I need to let whoever reads this know...this IS the truth...if you don't believe me, go to yesterday's comments and scroll to the bottom (I'd add a link, but I just can't do it yet)...two daughters are having a conversation about this very thing.

9/04/2006 08:16:00 PM  
Blogger Gayle said...

Sounds like you had a wonderful time! "Harrison has dog slobber in his hair!"
EE-Y-E-W--EE Y-U-C-K-Y! Too funny! (But it is indeed eeyew eeyucky!) ROTFALMAO!

Houses can be cleaned, hair can be washed, but families can never be replaced. I hope you had a wonderful time!

9/04/2006 08:20:00 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

GREATFANTASTIC post! I'm worn out from a day on the road but, of course, I'm making a quick blog bounce before bed...I'll be headed to sleep grinning :).

Nevah...a...dull...moment!

9/04/2006 08:53:00 PM  
Blogger M J said...

What priceless chaos! Love it!

Foam rubber? Oh dear, I really laughed til I cried there. I needed that.

9/04/2006 08:58:00 PM  
Blogger MSUgal86 said...

Hilarious! You have a family like mine, aren't they great?

9/04/2006 09:04:00 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

Thank you for the smile tonight.

9/04/2006 09:36:00 PM  
Blogger Karmyn R said...

HA HA - I did see those comments from your previous post and wondered about what was going on! Too funny!!!!! Love that Harrison was feeding the dogs yogurt!

My daughter did that at about 22 months - but she would put it on her toes, first!!!

hee hee

9/04/2006 09:43:00 PM  
Blogger C. said...

fabulous! I think you captured it!

9/05/2006 07:56:00 AM  
Blogger Debs said...

That is toooooooooooo funny!!! :) Still laughing.

9/05/2006 01:47:00 PM  
Blogger willowtree said...

Very funny stuff!!

9/05/2006 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

I was so sure I left a comment about the dogs "boxers are the gods of frolic"

and a link to a website that has all sorts of info on blogosphere terms.
but either blogger ate it - or I just failed to hit the right buttons.

I am at a saturation point of sorts.

9/05/2006 05:47:00 PM  
Blogger Swampwitch said...

SONGBIRD: Get off the floor but keep laughing !

GAYLE: We had a wonderful time...and your words are so true. There is a poem called, "The Grass Will Grow Back"...will try to find and share it.

ROBIN: Nev-ah a dull moment. Keep grinning.

MJ: Glad it made you laugh. Absolute chaos and I loved every minute of it.

MSUGA186: Yes, my family is great and provide wonderful material for my GLOB.

PAMELA: You're welcome...glad you smiled.

KARMYNR: One of my daughters would paint herself with fudgesicles. YUM YUM..

C: It wasn't difficult to capture, just listen and write.

DEBS: Keep on laughing...it's good for the soul.

WillowTree: Yup,it was funny, still is when I think about it.

PAMELA: I don't have a clue where your post is...could have been me and my computer skills..Gayle also posted yesterday and it's nowhere to be found...somewhere in the GLOBOSPHERE.

9/05/2006 06:19:00 PM  
Anonymous SWAMPSPAWN said...

OH GEEZE!! Is that ever the truth!! I am so glad there is a Westin near my house and that the dogs usually don't make the trip to Texas. Somehow when Hans comes to my house he leaves my fridge full of random leftovers from various restaurants. Usually it is crammed so full of those styrofoam boxes they fall out of the fridge if you open it. For some reason he doesn't understand "NO HANS WE DON'T WANT YOUR HALF EATEN HAMBURGER AND SOGGY FRENCH FRIES We BARELY EAT OUR OWN LEFTOVERS"

On that note...leftovers...HHHMM

Hans is pretty good to have around if you are cleaning out the fridge (as long as he doesn't have styrofoam boxes of food). I have seen this man, on more than one occasion, clean ou tthe fridge by whipping up a batch of batter and dunking the old food in it and throwing it in the fry daddy. You would have thought it was Star Jones (pre-thumb stomach surgery) at a Vegas all-you-can-eat buffet. He put old cheese, lunchmeat, fruit, vegetables, meatloaf, and yes PEACHES in the fry daddy. He should be on one of the infomercials for fry daddy. Bubba and Junior wouldn't eat some of that stuff...but HANS WOULD!!

OH YEAH PEACHES...I seem to remember a trip where I ate nothing but peach pancakes, oatmeal, jam, and ice cream for a week. And it wasn't becasue I like peaches all that much it was becasue Hans would sneak them into ANYTHING mom was cooking.

OH YEAH PANCAKES...I have seen Hans make and tastetest Bean Pancakes. For some reason he made Bubba and Junior ranch style bean pancakes at Lake Powell one summer. Talk about nasty they looked like a mouse ran across the pancake batter and left its droppings in it. But that didnt stop Hans he taste tested them before he gave them to the dogs...yes that is right he taste tested the dogs food!!

OH YEAH LAKE POWELL...hhhmmm wondering why there is no blog or picture of the glorious houseboat...shall we let LAW tell us all about Lake Powell here favorite summertime retreat. She does just love to summer on the family's yacht.

Wow I could go on and on and on...OK mom not that you're not addicted to this blog thing already but I think I might have provided you with enough material to talk about for a year!!

9/07/2006 06:32:00 AM  
Blogger Swampwitch said...

SWAMPSPAWN: Wow! Where have you been?
In response to:
--styrofoam leftovers: at least he didn't leave them in the car to ferment for several days, then try to get us to eat them !
--cleaning out the fridge: he's pretty handy to have around especially if the garbage disposal isn't working
--peaches: you forgot to mention the peach daiquries (sp?) which I must admit are quite tasty.
--ranch style bean pancakes: even Junior and Bubba passed on eating those
--Lake Powell: let's not mislead any readers...family yacht it's not...maybe floating white trash trailer house
--addicted to my GLOB??What's makes you think that?
Check back periodically...you may recognize someone who painted herself with a fudgesicle, or dressed herself for school, or ???

9/07/2006 04:51:00 PM  
Blogger G said...

Love it, love it, love it. You've captured perfectly the ramblings of a family visit and it sounds so familiar. Did I say I love this? Good.

9/21/2006 10:36:00 AM  

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