Friday, October 20, 2006

Mammogram: Peat and Repeat !

I know you have seen this picture before but please keep reading. The text is different. In previous posts, I have urged you to make appointments for mammograms.
You may be afraid of having a mammogram. . . even if you've had one before. . . there is fear. There is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week, preceeding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right at home.
EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the inside of the refrigerator. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door with lots of pressure for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective. Insert the other breast and repeat these instructions.
EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3:00 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged comfortably under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as she can. Repeat for the other breast. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again.
They are now properly prepared !
Seriously, if it's time for a mammogram, run, don't walk, to your phone to schedule an appointment. It may be the most important phone call you have ever made. I am living proof.

Here are links to previous Breast Cancer Awareness Posts:

What Cancer Cannot Do (Poem)

October: Breast Cancer Awareness Month (Be Informed)

The Day My World Changed (Black Darkness)

Mammogram (Photo)

Light at the End of My Tunnel (Life Goes On)

Inflammatory Breast Cancer (Video)

Bald is Beautiful (Swampwitch Revealed)

There are many links included in the above posts. If one person's life is saved because of the information read here, this has been worth every single minute of time dedicated to working on this blog (glob). Kathy :)

P.S. Men can be victims of breast cancer, too. Our daughter-in-law's father is a breast cancer survivor. It is important for everyone to do self-exams. If you notice a "bump," "lump," or any change in your breast, please see your doctor.


Anonymous wolfbaby said...

I get them done every year because my mom died from breast cancer, it started at age 28 and stops at age 35. Then I will get them at regular intervals.. it is extremly important!!!

10/20/2006 02:54:00 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

I get my "mammy, how I luv ya, how I luve ya,"
my dear old mammy ------every year!!!!

10/20/2006 03:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Alison said...

I have never had a mammogram. I know that I will have to get them regularly, but I've also heard they're very uncomfortable. Your descriptions made me laugh, though. Thanks for this post.

10/20/2006 05:59:00 PM  
Blogger Susan in va said...

First of all, OUCH! Secondly, I have never had one before. I have not yet reached the physician's "suggested age" at which to begin the annual mammograms. But after two of my 30-something friends were diagnosed this year, I've considered running to the mammography center myself. Maybe I can convince my good buddy Heather to do it to - are you reading Heather? Are you in? I'll buy coffee afterwards :)

10/20/2006 06:02:00 PM  
Blogger Delaleuverses said...

This picture is hilarious, I've never seen it before and i'm sure it won't be the last, thanks for sharing this post. Glad I stopped by.

10/20/2006 06:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a riot. I'm going to get squeezed in a couple of weeks. Lucky me!

Manually squeezed that is... I haven't been sent for a mammogram.

It's always a treat to be felt up by your doctor.

Marnie (blogger still sucks)

10/20/2006 06:43:00 PM  
Blogger willowtree said...

As usual there's always someone trying to undo you good work. Last night on TV there was a report stating that a bunch of doctors/scientists are saying that mammograms cause more problems than they fix.

They say that the process hasn't saved significant numbers from breast cancer, but due to the small irregularities it can detect, there have been many unnecessary operations. I daresay you'll come across the report eventually. And I assume you'll disagree. This type of sensationalism can be very dangerous.

PS, don't worry about getting confused over the move, I am too.

10/20/2006 06:52:00 PM  
Blogger C said...

Oh yes - the only time I get felt up by a stranger.

10/20/2006 07:20:00 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

It's really that painful? Jesus, I wouldn't want someone smacking my testes around like that. I am reminded of an ex-girlfriend who was very standoffish regarding her breasts. Everything else was fair game. Guess they can be sensitive....

btw, when we were in high school we used to pick on this kid scott b/c he had testicle cancer. oh, jesus.

10/20/2006 07:39:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Okay, OKAY! I get it! I've got a physical coming up next month - I PROMISE I'll ask for a mammogram.

10/20/2006 07:43:00 PM  
Blogger Sunrunner said...

Yes, we were talking about the same thing!!! :-)

10/20/2006 09:48:00 PM  
Blogger Swampwitch said...

Wolfbaby: I'm so sorry about your mom. Glad you are getting your mammograms done. My two daughters are just now convincing their insurance companies to let them.

Pamela: Thanks for the music. That will be stuck in my head all day.

Alison: Don't let the cartoon scare you. Mammograms don't hurt, they are just a little uncomfortable.

Susan: PINCH is more like it. I think Heather will be taking you up on the coffee invite.

Delaleuversus: Thanks for stopping by. Beatiful avatar.

Marnie Marnie Marnie: Why do you keep wearing that camouflage? We can hear you, we just can't see you.

Willowtree: Yes, these reports come out regularly. "Small irregularities" kill people. I will always have my mammogram no matter what those doctors say.

C: Make going to the doctor a whole new experience. What are we going to do about you and Marnie?

Matt: ...and what are we going to do about you, too? The things we did in high school. I shudder.

Heather: Good for you.

Sunrunner: Glad I found it. At first, I thought it was a serious "to do" list. Then, I remembered mine. Not too serious.

...mam-my, how I luv 'ya, how I luv ' dear 'ole mammy...

10/21/2006 06:24:00 AM  
Blogger RoxieAmerica said...

My doctor won't let me avoid them. She's been known to call me with the appointment all set up - she knows I'll avoid it, can you tell.

My best friend died from breast cancer. My husband is on his third kind of cancer. I really want to stick my head and sand and never know if I have cancer. I'm not as strong as my friend, or as strong as my husband. I'm sure hoping for another disease so I can skip this one.

11/12/2006 11:25:00 AM  
Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

What a great post! I had my yearly one on Tuesday, and as always, it was a lot like your preparatory exercises.

I always wonder about people who work as mammogram techs and grab, smack and smoosh other women's breasts all day. I wonder if they get beaten up once in a while.

It's wonderful that you've posted this reminder. It's so very important.

12/15/2006 05:13:00 PM  
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12/15/2006 11:56:00 PM  
Blogger Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Yes, I go every year...

I don't like mammo's... (or PAP's for that matter)
but I go regardless...
mom had breast cancer, too.

10/11/2007 05:39:00 PM  
Blogger Jama said...

I did it yearly too.
Compared this with childbirth that we woman go through, the mammogram is piratically less painful!

8/25/2008 07:41:00 PM  

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